Nano – Day 5… When all that’s left…

When all that’s left is nothing… The writer grinds her teeth, hisses, and turns the page.

I’ve written myself into another proverbial dead end alley. UGH! It happens, but it’s frustrating all the same. Being stuck on that particular sub-plot, I move on to another. To say that my manuscript appears to resemble “Cat’s Cradle” by Kurt Vonnegut would be putting it mildly.

I was trucking along just fine, then an inspiration struck and I opened another file to start with a blank page. Bad girl that I am! Ha! That option afforded me 2749 words yesterday afternoon on an entirely different plot line. Good for the word count, bad for the manuscript that I really want to add to for Nano. So, I’m sitting here with close to 3k additional words and I’ve written myself out of a story already. Sigh….

So, it’s back to the main piece I’m working one where one of my two MC’s is still caught in the middle of a tight combat situation and is about to find himself faced with one of those “measure of a man” moments. I know I need to write this… to get it down on paper or screen…. but…. I’m procrastinating. Maybe I’m just pressuring myself too much over this particular character. I WANT to get this part of the story RIGHT! If comes out of real life… well, the life of a “brother” who shared his Vietnam experiences with me over several decades. So, I feel that I must honor him in this story… I must stay “true to the facts” as much as is possible, on some level.

Ohhhh, that I could visit him and bounce off what I’ve written and what I want to write… to get his perspective again, to experience what he experienced in a way. Alas and anon, that will not happen. My ‘brother’ is gone… covid took him across that eternally long bridge. His spirit and soul are at peace now. No longer will he wake up in battle mode, or in fear. That is a blessing, and I am on some level happy and envious of him for that peaceful solace. Doesn’t help me with writing “his” story, but it is okay. So, I’m trying to pull on his proverbial khakis and get into his mindset. It’s hard – very hard in a way that it has never been for me before. So, my plot line is sitting here staring at me, and my muses are daring me, and my soda is full… and, yet…. (hangs head with a sigh).

“Okay, you little word genius, get your freakin’ write on!” I hear his voice in my head urging me to continue…

Current word count for Nano: 21,759 and counting…

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I am a middle aged wife who enjoys doing something different everyday.

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